JANUARY'S JOY

January 31, 2014

JANUARY'S JOY

FRIDAY, JANUARY 31, 2014

WHOA,

January flew by.

We JUST celebrated New Years,

right?

It feels that way,
seriously.
I blinked and it was over.

Its been a whirlwind of emotions & activity around here,

of the good and not so good nature.

DELIVERY :0
that's right,
(Hormonal stuff, PAIN in body, death of great uncle, financial situations...)
slow recovery,
sleepless nights,
blessings,
joy,
and
MORE
sleepless
nights.....
sigh

My baby love 2 weeks old :)

My little guy decided to make his debut early!
15 days early.
And that. Changed. EVERYTHING.

No finishing the last of the posts I was working on,
AKA nesting for the blog hahaha
or even catching up on reading everyone else's.

It was definitely earlier than we expected.
My first born son was 10 days early,
my daughter 7.
Just that pattern alone, would put me days away from my actual due date,
Right?
That was the logic.
But what do I know?
Sheesh, really thought he was going to let mommy finish all the intended.
I should of known, it doesn't work that way. :)

Ok, enough of the small-talk.

Let me share the humorous,
though not at the time,
super painful,
~~waiting it out~~ in denial,
possibly TMI,
Godly orchestrated,
delivery story
+
our newest joy.

humor me PLEASE ,

this little, big blessing, has stolen my heart!

FYI long post.

Lots of words,

long read,

you can turn back now,

I'll understand,

not really.

Buck up, I'm gonna talk your ear off!

I warned you.

JANUARY 2nd

5am-ish

I began feeling discomfort during my sleep

but reduced it to Braxton Hicks.

HERE

I didn't tell hubby.

He went to work and we started our day.

The kids were still on winter break so they hung out,

watched t.v.

played,

etc,

as I got things done around the house,

and while feeling consistent discomfort.

We were planning on getting some stuff done later on so I needed to finish.

I wasn't sure if I should tell anyone about what I was experiencing,

at least not until I was a bit more definite.

What if it was false labor and I excited them for nothing,

or say nothing, and run the risk of it actually being something?

AHH!

If the baby came early,

I wouldn't have family to take me to the hospital (they work out of town),

which means I'd have to impose on friends for that and childcare.

I REALLY dislike imposing.

It would disrupt my kid's winter break

and they wouldn't get to enjoy their last days with us as planned.

On the other hand, it wouldn't affect their schooling

and it was almost the weekend which worked better for us.

If it was all false labor and he arrived the following week,

based on delivery history,

~~actual due date 1.17.14~~

my kids would be back in school(occupied temporarily)

childcare situation again(who'd pick them up?)

hubby would be out of town for a last minute sale of some business property,

meaning he WOULDN'T be in town for a few days,

and possibly miss the delivery? :(

*I prayed that morning that God's will be done for the situation,*
whether it was this day or another.

Both scenarios had positives and negatives,

only he knew how to work it out.

A few hours later,

11am-ish

I thought,

"I should look up Braxton Hicks vs. real contractions",

because the "B.H" weren't going away.

Still, after reading up on it

reduced it all to false labor as it was too early in my opinion.

BUT just in case decided to start timing them.

After 2 pregnancies,
contractions,
and old school timing...

wasn't going to do that again.

This time around I had a smart phone,

with apps,

like cool 21st century people lol

I quickly downloaded one

CONTRACTION TIMER
FYI my phone has been a lifesaver during the ridiculous hours
of the night.
I keeps me from nodding off while holding/feeding the baby.
Happy to say I've been catching up on some reading :)

Chores were getting increasingly difficult

but I didn't care, we had plans.

We got ready,

headed to Walmart to exchange some Christmas gifts

and pick up some books we'd ordered but hadn't arrived in time.

The kids were aware I wasn't feeling well but not much more.

I remember walking through the store with difficulty,

seeing 2 women with newborns

and feeling envy,

LOTS of envy.

NOT delivery envy,

but Postpartum envy, if its a thing lol

I'm pretty sure it's a thing,
if not, I made it a thing.

Postpartum, Postpartum Envy, Delivery 2014

I
FELT
IT

All I could do was envy them because

I was in utter discomfort.

They were already on the other side of it,

walking the aisles with their bundles of joy,

maybe with some lingering aches,
but too happy to care.

Their lives were beyond delivery or the uncertainty of it,
living life entirely different now
and
enjoying something so simple as pushing a Walmart cart,
baby in tow.

SERIOUSLY,

I was SO jealous of these ladies!

I know it's not right.
The pain was talking.

We finished our shopping quickly.

and as promised, took them to the park.
Thank goodness I went against my initial plan of taking them to a new park,
located about 15 min away.

I figured I was safer being closer to home,
IF
this delivery thing was actually happening.

I was definitely in denial.

Not out of fear.
This time around I didn't fear the inevitable pain,
I just didn't want to cry wolf.
Maybe I was exaggerating my pain...unlike me though.
Maybe I could hold off a little longer...can get me in trouble at times.

I justified waiting-it-out with the idea that if I went in too early,
like with my 1st born, I'd be sent home.
What misery!
If I took my time, like with my 2nd child,
(dilated to 8!)
I'd be
RIGHT
ON
TIME.

So off to the park for what seemed like an eternity....
30 minutes tops.

I was clenching my body with every contraction,
beginning to accept my current situation
and decided to head home.

4pm-ish
I text the hubs & sis about my progressively painful condition,
clarifying that I wasn't certain I was going to deliver this day but
just in case needed them to come home.
They were doing their best to get here quickly,
but were about 1.5 hours away.

Snapshot of my actual timer.

In the meantime kiddos watched a movie,
while I so bravely decided to take a shower.
I figured they'd suggest it at the hospital anyway.
Right?
Why not just beat them to the punch.
NOT a good idea.
Excruciating pain at this point,
no granny chair or corner to sit at,
NO attentive nurse if I needed one,
just water pouring down and irritating me more.

At this point I'm quoting scripture OVER & OVER in my head LOL
'I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST,
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST,'
I
CAN
DO
ALL
THINGS
I'm even saying to myself, out loud,
cuz maybe I'll believe it,
make me feel better,
CONVINCE MYSELF,

"YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU CAN DO THIS"

here

I'm reminding myself, that God blessed me with this baby.
Our family is about to change.
I'm thanking the Lord.
I'm praying for myself and my baby boy,
aware of how much I wanted this.
Then in an accusatory tone,
am reminding myself that
I
WANTED
THIS.
NO pain no gain...
on and on
It was a real party in my head hahaha

Not to mention that hubby, M.S. & I
had started our yearly Daniel's fast on the 1st.
BEFORE you scoff at that,
let me say that I did include eggs/dairy throughout the fast.

Anyway, I was already feeling the effects of eating lots of fruits and veggies....
you know the "evacuation" process hahaha

Well when the pain was in full force,
and I had that natural urge to "go",
I couldn't tell if it was diet change-urge
or baby time-urge!
I just locked my legs cuz, I was NOT about to "poo" this baby out!!!
The horror.

The shower passed the time but that's about it.
I called the advice nurse,
who advised me to 'wait an hour or two'
WHAT?!

It's not her fault,
I wasn't screaming in her ear over my pain,
she misread my pain level.

Seriously, I don't blame her.

By this point M.S., hubby & sis are here.
M.S. checks in on me, then heads off.
Sis takes the kiddos
and I tell hubby I CAN NOT wait said hour or two!

Remember that urge to "go"...
well, it was full on.

We rode off into the sunset.......

Ya right!

I'm squirming in my seat, clenching my teeth,
trembling with pain,
heat and chills in body.
Loads of fun.

I can tolerate a lot,
but this,
tops it.

6:30pm-ish
Hubby wheels me in.
They ask me necessary but super annoying questions.
I can't answer without crying & waiting for contractions to pass 1st.
I give them a urine sample.
They check me.
I'm worried they'll send me home.
I ask.
They say, 'on no, YOU'RE RIPE, A 1O!'
I cry in relief haha

There's no time for wardrobe change.
I get wheeled up to delivery room,
transferred to bed,
hospital gown thrown over my clothes,
meet nurses, doctor,
I inquire about pain meds
they say I'll get all I want AFTER delivery :(
boo,
ok, here we go then.
Hubby is about to faint/pass out,
he doesn't
BAM baby comes out

SIGH OF RELIEF :)

WELCOME TO THE WORLD