Friday, March 17, 2017

LITTLE GREEN FAMILY TREE

FRIDAY, MARCH 17, 2017

Happy St. Patrick's Day friends!

Here's a little green of our own...
family tree/christmas tree maternity reveal
Our family tree has grown!





Yes, you're reading that correct,
we're in fact having another little one this year!
sonogram ornament maternity reveal
"THIS Christmas WE ADDED ANOTHER ornament TO OUR TREE..."
We had a Christmas 2016 announcement, that shocked my little world!
It was amazing to see/hear all the wonderful well wishes for our family.

It worked out perfectly as Christmas day was my official 12th week
and a safe enough time to share.


DIY sonagram ornaments: placecards, photocopied sonogram photos,
twine, glue
Each belongs to one of my babies, the top being the newest :)
At this point in time I am 23 weeks and counting.

----------------------------

I gotta say I really didn't think this baby was going to happen.
I'll tell you why.
Story time...
 Hubby had suggested originally when discussing the growth of our family (2013)
 that we plan on 2 more children instead of just 1.
Our older 2 had each other and that way baby #3 wouldn't be raised as a single child.
I was on board fully!
Then, a few days after the delivery of baby #3 (Jan 2014),
 he basically says/asks nonchalantly,

 "We're done, right?"

It's not what I was expecting to hear, 
not what I wanted to hear  
and definitely not the time to hear it.
 😭

It turns out he had drastically changed his mind just after a few days with a newborn lol
As much pain as I was in from delivery and the recovery process,
(hemorrhoids & such, emotional, tired, wrapping jiggly belly, pumping, etc.)
I KNEW the newborn stage wasn't forever, even though it felt that way.
And believe me, it lasted longer than hoped.
Baby 3, like my others, 
didn't sleep through the night until about a year old!
I was one TIREEEEED mama.

I tried to ignore the comment 
and the ones that sporadically followed,
but it was hard.
I'm human,
 my heart and thoughts instantly went to, "he's not sure about baby".
And although that was never true-
he was beyond helpful, hands-on and loving with the baby;
 a hormonal person,
even an emotional person can go down a negative road of thoughts.
In reality he was feeling his own level of overwhelmed, 
even before the real caregiving/parenting started.

And I felt irritated.
I had just experienced pain to deliver OUR child, 
would continue to deal with residual effects for a while, 
and he was feeling whatever he was feeling.
It would have been a million times better to hear it straight.
"I'm a little overwhelmed.
 It feels unknown again.
I could use some help adjusting."
Anything.

Then I could have had a chance to respond,
encourage and share my own struggles.

So, along with my silence on the topic,
I kept quiet about my razor like pains, plugged ductsand loneliness I felt.
I was on top of the world joyous about the blessing we had,
thankful each day for what the Lord had done in our family
but for everything else,
I just played along as though everything was great 
and the recovery smooth.
I didn't want hubby to interpret any of  it as complaints
 or give him any reason to object future family growth.
At times hubby waited for a response,
so I'd answer vaguely.
I didn't share the same sentiments
 and didn't want to make concrete statements based on his.

Of course we had family/friends remind us time was passing.
Even the kid's previous teachers haha
They knew of my desire and were waiting patiently for me to announce the news,
any day.
 Little M. was going to be 1 then 2 years old
and we should, 'start working on the next one'.
What could I say but, "you're right" , "we're waiting a little longer"
and then ultimately, "I think hubby has changed his mind".
So, it got a little awkward haha

After a while hubby stopped asking and I could let it go.
My initial reaction went from savoring each moment with baby M
because he may be my last,
to rejecting that idea, 
enjoying the moment for what it was
and trusting God to handle our family situation.
Even if baby M was to be our last, I wasn't going to harbor any ill feelings.

----------------------------

Fast forward to June 2016.
(I promise it has to do with the new baby)
Story #2...
Baby M was already 2+ years old and we still hadn't dedicated him.
(for some that may be like a baptism)
Saltwater sandals & outfit found on amazon.
I didn't want to pay for "fancy" shoes that would only be worn once
so I opted for the better quality sandals and in a larger size.
We kept switching dates wanting to accommodate out of town family,
well worth it to have them there.
In the end we agreed on Sunday June 12th 
and prayed it would go as the Lord desired,
family or no family.
My silly boy!
First baby bible and lamb previous gifts.

We did have family present

but a fraction of what we had hoped for.
It just didn't work out and we completely understood.
We hosted family and close friends after the service,
had a great time talking and eating
and enjoyed the festivities of the day fully.


Then when it was just hubby and I,
we relaxed outside with our coffee, some treats, a blanket,
and shared our joy/thoughts over the day.

I couldn't believe it,
but it was during that morning's service, dedication,
and the day's events that the Lord was working on hubbs.
Actually He had been working on his heart previously
but that day the Lord made it clear to hubby.
During our conversation hubby shared what had been on his heart,
including growing our family.

This was NOT what I was expecting to hear.
Even though this was what I was wanting, I was skeptical.
If you know my previous prego story you'll understand.
As much as I wanted to grow the family,
I wanted to make certain it wasn't just a response to a great day.
That the emotions of celebrating weren't creating a false feeling on his part.

I explained myself,  said we'd pray about it and give it some time.
If hubby still felt this way in time/months we'd proceed.
He agreed.

So we did just that and a few months later began to try.
If it was the Lord's will it would happen
and it did!

story #3...
I'm only 5'1",
so any weight gain is usually noticeable.
Proof:
Even way before I was pregnant,
 I had put on a few pounds due to a business trip I joined hubby on back in August.
I was really trying to lose them before becoming pregnant
 because I wanted the best/healthiest start (didn't happen).
It's kind of hard to break bad habits you just picked up,
I believe they "followed" me home lol
Some time after we returned my mom was already claiming I was with child, 
even though I WASN'T.
The amazing thing is that NO ONE knew we were trying, but she told me,
"I feel it in my spirit, I know you won't share until you're ready, but I FEEL IT"
She whole heartedly believed I was prego because my, "body had changed".

haha THANKS MOM

I told her it was the 5 star buffets we over indulged in 😭.
TRUTH
She wouldn't hear it, so I said it was something we were definitely
praying about but at the specific time I was NOT with child.

But her truth became a reality too
and I am so thankful for a praying mama :)


I'll share how we told our kiddos, how my pregnancy has gone 
 and get to the DRESS THE BUMP 2016/2017 edition soon.

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