Tuesday, April 30, 2013

I TRULY AM BLESSED pt 3 - Hope to Healing

TUESDAY, APRIL 30, 2013


This is the continued story of how our family came to be.
http://sowseeksewreap.blogspot.com/2013/04/i-truly-am-blessed-pt-3-hope-to-healing.html

 part 1   part 2   part 4  part 5  






FAMILY, CONCEIVING, MISCARRIAGE
here
At this point, I shared with my employers & co-workers.
They were super excited for me!
I considered my co-workers my huge, loving, crazy, second family, 
well second to my church family.

My good friend/co-worker, L.E had already had her baby
so it was super nice to share this with her.
(Remember, she and I had been preggo the same time, my 1st time)

I had made up my mind that I would NOT be slowed down.
PREGNANCY WADDLE
here
I'd work just as hard if not harder to prove that I was STILL a good employee,
and I would NOT be the typical "waddler" lol

 My main drive was to make sure I kept my job.
We desperately needed the income,
 but I also loved what I did and the people.
I didn't want to be let go 
by slowly receiving less and less hours.
It happens.
To the preggo, women, elderly or those with limited English.
I was 2 of those lol.

Don't get me wrong, my bosses were amazing
and men.
Both were married, big on family
and one had lots of grown kids. 
I just didn't want to give them ANY reason to not be on the team.


So I worked hard and proved myself to the end.
I worked up until a month before the delivery and in poor conditions too.
It turned out to be one of the hottest heatwaves in a long time.
The building we were in was extremely old and the A/C had broke down!
Of course, it didn't get fixed during my pregnancy.
I was a HOT mess
and not in a cute way. EEEK

I focused my prayers now on a healthy baby,
our lives, his/her purpose AND a name.

The time came when we'd find out the sex of the baby.


February 24, 2003 day of ultrasound!
Hubby had put on some marriage & "sympathy" weight  lol

We suspected it would be a boy but looked forward to the process anyway,
it was all new and exciting!
The fear of losing this pregnancy was completely gone.


That's my baby!
And of course
it was a boy!


My hubby was a proud papa, so cute.
To finally see the little guy that had been growing inside me,
just made us swoon.

:)


I knew more than ever that I wanted God to be in midst of this new life,
in choosing his name and raising him.

I can't tell you the day or the time the name came.
I just know that when I read my bible that day,
the story I read;
I knew.

here


It turns out I had already come upon the story/name previously,
because it was highlighted.
Although I can't remember when exactly.

I do know that it was before my pregnancies,
 because those current eyes had NEVER read the story before.

It was like a cold splash to the face!

That's what's so awesome about God and his word,
he's ALWAYS speaking and always relevant.

The reason I had easily forgotten this story
(aside from my major forgetfulness),  
was that I had not related to it previously.
I had read right through it like the
 "BEGATS" of old, in King James versions (Genesis 10:1-11:26) .
It had new meaning now,
it spoke something different that I hadn't seen before
and I was dumbfounded.


I was like, 'how come I never saw this before!?'
I read different parts of the bible all the time
and not once did I see it.
I was certain that it was the name.

I shared with hubby.
He understood the connection,
but wanted to let it sit in his brain/heart a bit before we ultimately decided.

Of course I reminded him whatever middle name he chose
HAD to flow with the name I believed, God had given me.
When we finally agreed to the name combo,
shared with family, friends and co-workers.

I was excited to share how the name came about.
To share its significance
and personal meaning to me.
They understood it all
but would ultimately ask, "does the name mean something?"

DOES IT MEAN SOMETHING?
I didn't know!

That part left me unsettled.
God had done something great for me,
comforted me,
 blessed me with this baby,
healed my heart,
taken fear and doubt away
and I couldn't answer their question.


One of the floor managers & good friend D.
had made this for me with a super sweet note.
It meant the world to me because she took the time.
AND my GO-TO attire at the time.....sweats.


I so wanted to answer their question.
But the bible didn't offer any more than the story.

I know, why didn't I just look it up on the computer?

Believe it or not, we didn't have one.
I could have easily visited a library but truthfully 
had not had a lot of experience with internet and its capabilities.
I assumed if it's NOT in the bible, the actual source,
HOW could it possible be available in a secondary one?

I looked at so many baby books at Target, Walmart, etc and nothing.
They included many typical, well known, biblical names but not this one.
I never even considered going INTO a bookstore/Christian book store
and finding out IF they had a biblical names book.

I know, where was my brain?
Preggo brain. I'll go with that.

So here I am, 
with child,
name chosen,
connective story,
no meaning.

At this point hubby was beginning to have "doubts" on the name.
He was suggesting we use the middle name as his first
and the first as his middle, because he liked "his" choice a little better.
My sis was starting to agree with hubby,
saying it flowed better that way.
Others were saying,
"oh, are you going to call him_____ for short?
or _______?"


REALLY?!

It seemed like I was starting to get resistance 
or at least weakening support in what I KNEW God had given me.


I didn't like hubby's suggestion,
 sis's aggreance,
or the aggravation from the suggestions...
NO I will not call him______ for short,
 that is a completely different person in the bible
and 
NO, I won't call him______, 
that's entirely different.


to be cont'd 


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